I am not able to get over it

Hi friends,

i am gathering enough courage to write here. i was in a relationship few yrs back and have never been able to get over it. she got married an yr after we broke up and we r not in touch. First i used to think she was wrong and the reason for breakup and overtime i have started blaming me for the breakup. i miss her to the extent that i have become non-social. i dont like going out, dont make friends, just work and come home. I tried diverting my mind to playing games, gym but didnt work.

i am doing quite well in my career and i guess that is the only thing that keeps me ticking a bit. but everyday i leave work i get so depressed and every morning i am so depressed till i leave work, i have even thought of ending my life but then always the thought of my family comes to my mind and i dont think further.

people say time changes things, when and how long will i have to wait ..... i am so sad :((

can someone help..

cheers
sam

i was away from a relationship for 6 years. isolated, angry, drunk, all sorts of mind troubles. bi-polar, paranoid, etc. i satrted walking with the Lord again after 20 years, and it all changed. i wish i could tell you what to do, but i don't know anything. i'm nobody. Jesus Christ is everything. best wishes. sporty.

Hi friends,

i am gathering enough courage to write here. i was in a relationship few yrs back and have never been able to get over it. she got married an yr after we broke up and we r not in touch. First i used to think she was wrong and the reason for breakup and overtime i have started blaming me for the breakup. i miss her to the extent that i have become non-social. i dont like going out, dont make friends, just work and come home. I tried diverting my mind to playing games, gym but didnt work.

i am doing quite well in my career and i guess that is the only thing that keeps me ticking a bit. but everyday i leave work i get so depressed and every morning i am so depressed till i leave work, i have even thought of ending my life but then always the thought of my family comes to my mind and i dont think further.

people say time changes things, when and how long will i have to wait ..... i am so sad :((

can someone help..

cheers
sam

Change in attitude is what works. You're making the depression yourself. Breakups occur with most of us and we get over it.

Depression comes primarily from rejection and guilt. Your upset is hanging in your subconscious. See a hypnotherapist and CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE ABOUT THE PAST! You can't change it. Let it go and move on. Don't squander your life because of a love affair gone bad.

Were you not so far away I could fix you over the phone. Try my website. www.psychresearch.com

Hi friends,

i am gathering enough courage to write here. i was in a relationship few yrs back and have never been able to get over it. she got married an yr after we broke up and we r not in touch. First i used to think she was wrong and the reason for breakup and overtime i have started blaming me for the breakup. i miss her to the extent that i have become non-social. i dont like going out, dont make friends, just work and come home. I tried diverting my mind to playing games, gym but didnt work.

i am doing quite well in my career and i guess that is the only thing that keeps me ticking a bit. but everyday i leave work i get so depressed and every morning i am so depressed till i leave work, i have even thought of ending my life but then always the thought of my family comes to my mind and i dont think further.

people say time changes things, when and how long will i have to wait ..... i am so sad :((

can someone help..

cheers
sam

Change in attitude is what works. You're making the depression yourself. Breakups occur with most of us and we get over it.

Depression comes primarily from rejection and guilt. Your upset is hanging in your subconscious. See a hypnotherapist and CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE ABOUT THE PAST! You can't change it. Let it go and move on. Don't squander your life because of a love affair gone bad.

Were you not so far away I could fix you over the phone. Try my website. www.psychresearch.com

I am very amazed as to what you have said here. I'm thinking that you don't have or had any very serious depression. You just can't tell someone to let it go and move on. If life were only that easy. How can you fix someone over the phone if that were true I think half the population would be calling you.

Hi Sam,

hope this finds you better.

Life isn't easy, but I guess the main thing is to learn how to turn our problems into challenges, so we can tackle them and live better.

I understand how hard it is to get over these situations when you are suffering from depression, I have suffered myself and it took me 3 years to finally feel good again.

I'd suggest some counselling, positive affirmations and visualizations. Don't forget to nurture yourself and your spirutual side.

All the best!

Coach Pri
http://CoachPri.com...

I'm still trying to figure out that one myself Sam...time hasn't been much help for me either in making things any better. It's been about a year for me, and just when I thought I was getting over him, he comes back into my life for a little while and now I'm in the same boat all over again. It doesn't seem as if the pain will ever end. So I'm running away....actually almost 5 hours away to another state. Maybe that will work. Who knows? I see myself where you are at 3 years down the line. I wish I'd never fell in love, it's just too much pain in the end. I'd suffered with depression before I met him and while we were together, but he was my "prozac"...the sun shined when I was with him....and now it's forever dark again...even with the pills. If you find a way to cope, please, let me know. I need to know.

I can really relate to you except I worked with my ex of one year now (he fired me two years ago) and I don't have even work to fill my mind up during the day. I was manic last year and couldn't work and this year I've have physical and dental probs so soon I will be able to look for one. I tried at the beginning of the year for about two months but couldn't even get one at Target! All of my friends were connected to him so I lost them too which didn't help. I have never been so depressed in my life. I am also bipolar which complicates things since my constant manic episodes drove him away. Now I've been deeply depressed that I don't think even therapy would help. He was my sunshine, too, my best friend, my confidant, my emotional support, my life. Nothing brings me joy anymore like it used to. Today my second grandchild was born and tonight I sit here crying. I have no friends, my daughter tells me not to talk to her if it is anything negative. My older sister (who I told I had no friends) never calls me except to go see our mentally ill mother. When I emailed two old girlfriends that my ex-husband had died in July and that I was numb and walking around like a zombie I never heard back from them. (Oh, and his widow told my son to tell me not to come to the funeral because I had contacted her thru the years to try to get her to encourage him to see his daughter more and develop some kind of a relationship. I don't know what her problem was, if she was jealous of her or didn't want to share him or what. She never did answer me back so I just kept trying.) When I asked the one woman in AA that I trusted to call me when I was depressed she said she would and she never did. When my son was getting married and I invited two couples my kids grew up with they never replied back. How much reaching out for support and getting kicked in the teeth in my life am I supposed to take? I went to AA for 7 years and not one woman is my friend and I gave a lot. I know I should go but I just can't take anymore rejection. I'll have enough of that looking for work again!

IF there is ONE person who has the Most capability to get out of this it's YOU. And Unless You decide, yes DECIDE, there won't be the next step, how can. think about it. If I chose to not work, or eat, or read up on what CAN be done, how anything get changed?

Luckily we live in a free society where WE are able to meke our decisions. So tell me what ONE thing youa are going to do Today before you go to bed. It's your life and You have the Most control ont. Isn't that one thing to to feel good about.

NOW take the next step.

And next day another. And the next day one more.

i organise a walking meetup. Nature has a way of bringing clarity to out thoughts and perspective. How about trying this meetup.

Wish you the best.

Hi Sam,
I stopped dating over 15 years ago. I was a single mom and just could not take the heartache again.
I still obsess over it. I wonder why I was so incapable of being loved or loving. Now my daughter is grown and has left home leaving me feeling so alone. On top of that, I just lost my grandmother a month ago and I too, like another writer on this board am shocked by the lack of concern by my family and friends.
I am smack dab in the middle of a very heavy depression. I wake up and cry, cry at work, on the subway, and all night long. I am just going through the motions. I know I have to keep busy so I have decided to do volunteer work. I miss my grandmother like crazy and playing board games with her so I am going to hang out with some seniors and play board games. How perfect since there are lots of lonely seniors out there.
I too am very anti-social but I do find that I have the ability to give and volunteering turns me into a totally different person. I am not interested in chit chat, sharing stories, going through getting to know someone, I just do not have the energy but I do like to give of myself. There are lots of different things you can do; things on your own or in groups. Your choice. I think the magic is that volunteering takes your mind off all your worries and you just give of yourself unconditionally and I think that has the power to heal. So yes, for me, volunteering is a bit selfish. I think I get more from it as the people I am 'helping.'
Anyway, I am sounding like a public service announcement and that is not my intention. I was feeling lonely and have never posted to a message board before and I came across your message and there were things you said that hit a nerve with me so I thought I'd reach out to you and everyone else who responded.
A friend,
M

Sometimes when we can't get over a lost love, it is because we feel like there will never be anyone out there who could ever love us again. So we cling to what once was, because we think it's all we'll ever have.

Another thing that happens is that a loss like this can trigger a depressive episode, and it may take professional help and maybe medication to help you move beyond it.

The improtant thing to remember is that you can move on and things can be better for you. It may take work, but you do not have to suffer anymore.

I with you the very best!

Judy
http://www.find-a-the...